Have you ever been defined or even accused of being narcissists? No problems if you are youngsters, but ask yourself how useful it could be if you are a grownup adult and still behave with that sort of narcissist attitude that is common on teenagers.
Because narcissistic attitudes, focused on oneself and are obviously a bit selfish, are good for us when we are young, they help us to face life with that bit of a boost that in comparison with others and the world makes us grow, also dampening those same self-centered behaviors.
During the early twenties these narcissist way of life almost always decreases, in a natural way, almost unconsciously, we start seeing reality with a different perspective, see others point of view as well as ours and consider many more things that we could not see or care for before. So now there is not so much being useful on continuing behaving as such, indeed it could become counterproductive if we would not change.
If narcissism continues into adulthood, turning into an excessive consideration of oneself it can degenerate and imply some problems in relationships with others. Sometimes it takes the form of an excess of exhibitionism; other times it overflows into exaggerated authoritarianism or it is simply useless and boundless selfishness.
Several studies have shown how harmful narcissistic attitudes can be to oneself in relations with the outside world. If in fact they can be tolerable or tolerated in one’s own family circle or friendships, we cannot expect them to be long-term at work or when we approach new knowledge.
What future life partner could bear that who has chosen to be his or her other half is actually always focused on themselves rather than on the alleged partner?
Adult Narcissism in your work environment
How many of you have experienced having to deal with self-centered people at work, who overestimate their skills and who are willing to use any means to achieve their goals? People who appear very self-confident, charismatic and who love to be at the center of attention, but totally lacking in empathy. We are talking about adult narcissistic personalities that can turn from hero into villain in split second.
These category of people, specially when occupying management positions, feel themselves to be superior, special and unique people, they are vain, they have a strong sense of right and a desire for power and success. On a relational level, narcissists are poorly empathetic and lack emotional intimacy.
In fact, they form superficial relations characterized by opportunism and manipulation; better to say, they are close to those who seem to be able to benefit from them and increase their self-esteem. This is because in reality they have a very low self-esteem which, for this reason, needs to be constantly fed by the approval of others.
As a result they focus on self-presentation strategies. As Costantine Sedikides and other researchers report in the Journal of the Personality and Social Psychology, if narcissists are admired, they feel euphoric, they report high self-esteem and high satisfaction. On the other hand, as emerges from the study by Joshua Miller, Keith Campbell and Paul Pilkonis, if they are not successful and / or receive negative feedback, they become aggressive and sometimes anxious and depressed.
Narcissism in small doses can only be good when the person who possesses it has a healthy awareness, a good self-esteem and maintains relational skills such as empathy.
However, narcissism can also be of pathological nature when the subject develops a grandiose sense of himself, has the perception that everything is due to him, when he is unable to care, respect or love others and lacks empathy and remorse. Finally, the most serious phase is that of a malignant narcissism, a form of psychopathy that occurs when the subject has, in addition to the characteristics of average narcissism, also a total lack of guilt, remorse and regret, up to a real mental cruelty.
Apart for being a busy IT executive, Tito has a passion for cooking for friends and family and is a first class wines connoisseur.